I want to conquer myself

“And I want to conquer the world,
Give all the idiots a brand new religion,
Put an end to poverty, uncleanliness and toil,
Promote equality in all my decisions
With a quick wink of the eye
And a ‘God you must be joking!'” ~from the song “I Want to Conquer the World” by Brett Gurewitz — Bad Religion


When I was young, I wanted to live in a better world. I wanted the world to know peace and love and harmony and unity. I knew… I just knew… that there was important work for me to do. Funny how life changes youthful ideologies.

findPeaceDon’t misunderstand, I still want these things for the world, but I now understand the very very simple notion that the best I can do is change myself, to find within me the power to allow peace and love and harmony and unity. I spent a large part of my life thinking (and living) that for the world to achieve all these things, the world had to change. But here’s the truth (as I see it now): If I change myself, I change the world.

I spent a good portion of my life living in a world where all the answers to my problems lie outside myself. It has been a long, tiring journey inwards (one which I am still journeying), but the deeper inward I get, the more I understand what it means to go within, that I already have all the answers to my problems. What I’ve come to understand is that all the things I want for the world already exist. Peace exists. Harmony and Love exist. Unity exists. If they didn’t, I wouldn’t crave them. Also, they are present and perfect in every moment. These are not things I have to create, I only need to perceive them to experience them. To perceive them, I must be them.

“I believe we all want love and approval. I also believe that it is only by giving that to ourselves that we can give it to each other.” (Shannon Crane – Tiny Buddha)

clearVisionI read the above article yesterday (and again this morning — take the time to read it. It’s worth it!) and found some wonderful sentiments that illustrate exactly what I’m trying to say. To arrive at this inward journey, I had to step out from being a small part of a large world, separate yet aggregate. I had to stop seeing myself in the world as I would an atom of carbon in my body, when I am more closely comparable to carbon itself. We are all the same. That is my mantra. Not we are all similar, no… we are the same. We are united because we are not separate outside perception. We harmonize because we want the same thing. We are all loving because we value existence. We are all peaceful because we embrace the comfort of safety. The more I cultivate awareness within myself of all of these things, the more I see it in the world around me.

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